Saturday, June 16, 2012

Just a Kid

My son is 6 going on 16. These days it feels like we argue a lot. Some days he's my sweet little boy who can melt my heart with his kindness. Others he's an impatient brat who's yelling at his sister for the tiniest thing. Just yesterday he was helping clean out pews at church as I beamed with pride and then just a few short hours later he was melting down over a flashlight I wouldn't let him get at Walmart. By the time we all made it home, I was at the end of my rope with him. I think what gets me most is that every tiny thing he does, I see as a reflection of myself. (which it an extent)

I hear him speak harshly to Lu and I cringe, did he learn that tone from me? {maybe, but he's also 6 & she's 3 and she's getting on his nerves...I have younger siblings and no one ever taught me how to be mean to them, but I was/am sometimes.}

I see him helping a little kid in the playground at McDonalds & I beam with pride, now that, he got from me for sure! {yeah maybe, and maybe from the people we've surrounded him with all his life and maybe he's just got a kind heart.}

He smarts off to me & rolls his eyes and I think, what kind of parent am I that my kid would talk to me like that? {maybe he's just 6. I've definitely got my share of sass that I don't remember ever being taught. I've thrown some harsh comments at my mama & not because she was a bad parent, just because I'm a brat sometimes too.}

So what I'm learning is a lesson that's hard for me. It's not all about me. Sometimes he's just a 6-yr-old testing his boundaries. Sometimes he's a brat. Sometimes he's an angel. And while yes, he's a reflection of me, he's also just a kid.

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