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Saturday, May 8, 2010

motherhood

One of my closest friends is thinking about getting pregnant.
(Thinking about it...that would have SO taken the surprise out of my first one...hmm...interesting concept.)

That's her though, she's a thinker.
Me, I'm a doer.
So since I'm a doer, I've been trying to talk her out of thinking about it.

Seriously though...she's scared. And what's not to be scared of?
I was terrified...at one point or another with both of mine.
(But I was already pregnant when the fear hit...too late for fear at that point!)
I've decided to convince her that it's worth it....so very worth it, yeah it's hard, but oh how the joys outweigh the hard parts.

The hours are long, neverending actually.

You never have a day off....not really.

You can give up sleeping for the most part.
Even when the kids aren't with you, keeping you up, you still can't sleep.

You've never worried more in your life. About everything. Silly things that are completely ridiculous and then really big, scary things that scare you out of your wits and make you swear you are never letting them out of your sight again.

You develop this relationship with your husband that is ...amazing. He becomes your right arm. You didn't realize that you ever needed anyone that badly. But he's the only one who gets it. He's the only one who loves them like you do.

You realize that you can't do anything without packing a bag that would allow you to survive in the jungle for a week. You become the ultimate packer.

You become a fan of caffeine in ways that you didn't know were possible. You actually almost cry when you realize that Starbucks (or Sonic) has closed for the night & you didn't get your last one of the day.

You become this person you don't even recognize some days. You're daring and confident and scared out of your mind all at the same time. You're bold and constantly ready to defend your baby to anyone and everyone. You sometimes become those people that you hate...unabashedly showing pictures to everyone you see. Bragging about potty training victories & having your child repeat the same annoying phrases constantly.

You lose a lot.
(of patience, self-control, sense...)
But oh what you gain....
tiny arms always reaching for you...and only you
the sweetest smile you've ever seen
the most adorable belly laughs that make your soul smile
unconditional love that makes your heart ache
unbelievable pride and amazement that something so incredible came out of you
an appreciation for a God that you may not be able to see, but you most certainly cannot deny
and it suddenly seems SO worth it.

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