Today during church, I found myself flipping backwards in my Bible to read the beginning of the story my pastor preached about. (I do that often.) We were reading in Luke 5 about Jesus and the fishermen. But I wandered back to when Jesus was just a boy. (Ch. 2) I came across verse 51 which says this:
"...but His mother kept all these things in her heart."
Can you imagine? Being the mother of Jesus. I can barely handle being the mother of Eli & Luci. I often feel overwhelmed and underqualified. They shock me. Anger me. Surprise me and leave me longing for more. I cannot fathom what Mary must have felt. All the while knowing that He was of God. He was God. Knowing that He came to save the world. Sure, she didn't know the how, but still. That's a lot of pressure and a lot of faith.
Reading this little tiny thing about Mary made me connect with her. Cause I do that. I keep the things of my children in my heart. I'm not so good at remembering to write it all down. (I think my pregnancy journal with Lu says, "I'm pregnant.") I'm not so good at 1.) taking pics and 2.) printing them off. I'm not so good at labeling and/or keeping every tiny art piece they produce. But those special times that we share and I catch myself thinking...holy cow, that's my kid. I tuck those away, into that innermost part of my heart. They are the things I think about when I'm lying awake at night. Those are the things I reflect on when the world gets too loud and heavy. And I remember, that just like Mary, I've been given a gift. A gift from God. A gift to love and protect and to help grow in the right.